There are three complaints that come strolling through my office on a regular basis:
1. Weight gain (you can read more about how to lose 5 pounds here)
3. Sex drive
Of the three, numbers 1 and 2 are fairly straightforward; number 3 on the other hand is loaded.
Sexuality and libido is a complicated topic. There are many layers of ourselves that go into our sexuality. There’s personal issues (history and trauma), power struggles within relationship, metabolic and hormonal factors, as well as structural factors (whether the pelvis and hips are open or locked) that can overlay our desires in the boudoir.
The trick to dealing with libido is by being gentle and kind with ourselves and approaching each layer as we can.
Want to learn how to open your pelvis safely? Read on.
It’s All Connected
Tight hips can have an impact on your hormones and your desire because darlin’, it’s all connected.
Tight hips can restrict blood flow. The femoral artery is a major artery that runs just inside the pelvis and provides blood for the ovaries and uterus. Tight hips will decrease the flow of blood to this area. Less blood flow means less hormonal input.
Less hormonal input, means less desire.
Now, it’s not just less hormonal input to the ovaries. There’s a bigger picture here. Because, you know from reading my work that your hormones are made by the endocrine system. Now when I say “system”, I mean system.
There’s not one gland that’s more important than another when it comes to your endocrine system. They all work together.
Often, practitioners will point to the thyroid or even the adrenals when a client says, “my sex drive is not what it used to be”. Honestly speaking, it takes all the glands [thyroid, pituitary, adrenals and ovaries/pancreas] to be functioning well to feel “in the mood again”.
An under-nourished ovary due to the lack of blood can be a big player in a hormonal meltdown. Your thyroid and adrenals can’t take all the blame.
Opening the Pelvis Can Be Key
There’s no denying that the pelvis is a hot spot when it comes to sexuality.
The pelvis is the seat of our reproductive organs and the center of the 1st chakra. It’s our foundation and in groovy terms, it can be viewed as the “seat of our soul”.
We tend to store our emotional/ sexual baggage here. Sometimes it’s hard to know if our stiffness and guardedness is a result of our lifestyle and inflexibility, or if the tightness is a result of our thoughts and traumas.
Sometimes it doesn’t really matter what tipped off the restrictions, sometimes it’s just more important to open the pelvis and get back in the flow again.
The following three exercises should be practiced as a sequence. Start with the first one and end with the last. All together, the exercises should take about 15 minutes. Be patient with the exercises and hold them. Stretching in and out (also known as “bouncing”) doesn’t create lasting change for the structure. Gently holding a pose will relax the nervous system and allow for a deeper shift in the system.
Practicing these 3 gems, 3 times a week will begin the process of unlocking your pelvis and boosting your desire.
Here's to open hips, connection, and romance
PS. Feel free to pass this tip along to a close friend. Because more love in the world is a good thing. XO
Legs Up the Wall
1. Lay on your back with your hips anywhere from 6-12 inches away from the wall. If your hamstrings are very tight, you might need to be further away from the wall.
2. Legs extend up the wall with the knees extended straight.
3. Support your head with a bolster.
4. Clasp your hands under the bolster if you can. If you can’t clasp your hands, hold the sides of the bolster.
5. Close your eyes, relax and breathe. Rest in the pose for 5 minutes.
Spread Legs Up the Wall
1. Switch the interlock of your hands (if your hands are clasped, otherwise just leave them as is holding the sides of the bolster.)
2. Spread legs into a V shape.
3. Relax your feet. Rotate your inner thigh so that your heel is in full contact with the wall. Your foot should not be rotated.
4. Close your eyes, relax and breathe. Rest in the pose for 5 minutes.
Bent Knees Spread Legs up the Wall
1. If your shoulders are sore, remove your arms. Do not stretch your arms or massage your shoulders, just bring them down to your side. Let your shoulders adjust. If there is no pain in your shoulders, then slide your hands under your bolster and extend your arms along the floor overhead. Stretch your hands and fingers under the bolster and extend your arms straight.
2. Bend your knees so that the soles of your feet contact the wall. Knees will be spread. This position is like a squat at the wall.
3. Close your eyes, relax and breathe. Although this pose can be uncomfortable for many, relax into the pose and hold for 3-5 minutes.